The Conversation Every Parent Should Have With Their Child

The normal parental instinct of all animals, including humans, is the protection of our young. It seems unthinkable that our children might fall victim to a sexual predator, and yet it happens.

Parents need to know the facts. In the United States, it is estimated that 1 out of every 4 girls and 1 out of every 6 boys is sexually abused before the age of 18. One in every 5 children is solicited sexually on the Internet.

For many parents, the visual image of the "typical" sexual predator is a stranger lurking on a dark street corner. In truth, few children are molested by strangers.

While we might like to think that our child is safest at home and around people that we know, the statistics indicate otherwise. An estimated 30 to 40 percent of child sexual abuse victims are abused by a family member. Another 50 percent are abused by someone outside of the family whom they know and trust. Forty percent are abused by older or larger children whom they know.

The sad truth is that if a child is going to be sexually abused by someone, the likelihood is high that it would occur at the hands of a relative or family acquaintance.

There are things you can do right now to prevent child abuse from happening to your child:

1. Talk to children about the difference between safe touches and unsafe touches from anyone – including family, friends, teachers, or clergy. Make it clear to your child that they are always welcome to discuss with you touches that concern them, without repercussions.

2. Explain that safe touches are hugs, a bath from a parent, or a medical checkup. These are touches that make us feel good about ourselves or help us to stay clean and healthy.

3. Help children understand that unsafe touches are someone touching the child’s private parts, asking the child to touch his/her private parts, and hitting, pushing, kicking, slapping, etc.

4. Ask your child to tell a trusted adult if someone says their touches are to be “a secret” or if the person threatens the child or family.

5. Teach children about “NO, GO, and TELL”: Say NO, GO away quickly, and TELL a trusted adult if someone touches them in a way that upsets them. One of the most important things a parent tell their child is that the child's body belongs to the child and that no one is allowed to touch their body without their permission.

6. Tell children to “NO, GO, and TELL” if a stranger offers them candy, gifts, or a ride; follows them; or asks them to come along to help find or carry something. Have a unique secret word that only you and your child know in the event of an emergency. Tell your child never to get in a car with anyone who does not know the secret code word.

7. Make it a family rule that your child keep you informed at all times about where they are, who they are with, and when they will be home.

8. If you suspect someone of child abuse, report that person immediately to the Oklahoma Child Abuse Hotline (1-800-522-3511).

For more information about child abuse prevention, please call Tri-County CASA at 918-343-1515.