Several years ago, I attended a conference at which I was introduced to the book "Bridges Out of Poverty," by Ruby K. Payne, Ph.D., Philip DeVol, and Terie Dreussi Smith. It really is "must-read" material for CASA volunteers and anyone who is working with families impacted by generational poverty.
The book presents, in language that is clear, highly readable, and thought-provoking, a slice of what life is like for people who are living in poverty. Not all of the families we work with are poor, but I can think of several examples of families where generational poverty was one of the key issues of the case. This book helps those of us who have never experienced poverty at this level to try to understand why and how it happens and the specific challenges these families face.
For the next several weeks, I plan to blog about some of the issues and insights I gleaned from this book. I am toying with the idea of having an in-service series based upon it, and would like your input about whether or not you would be interested in participating. You can email me or leave me a comment about whether or not this would be of interest to you.
One of the most important aspects of working with families touched by generational poverty is an analysis of their support systems. We all need support systems to function in this life. Most of us have good support systems, which we often take for granted. These include: a savings account and/or a family member willing to lend money in a pinch; parents, grandparents or other trusted adults willing to care for our children in the event of an emergency; a working automobile and very often, a back-up vehicle; and other examples too numerous to mention here. You get the idea. Most of us aren't flying solo.
Linda Hall Whitman, in her book "Welfare-to-Work Management" states, "Welfare recipients can get hung up on the same everyday needs that draw from our momentum and focus: childcare, parenting, relationships, housing. But in the absence of financial or family backup, bumps can become insurmountable obstacles: reasons to miss work, or worse, quit."
In "Bridges Out of Poverty," support systems are defined as, "the friends, family, and backup resources that can be accessed in times of need." According to the book, these backup resources fall into seven general categories:
1. COPING STRATEGIES - the ways in which one copes with daily living: the disappointments, the tragedies, and the triumphs. Coping strategies are ways to think about things, attitudes, self-talk, strategies for resolving conflicts, problem-solving techniques, and the avoidance of needless conflicts. Coping strategies are also ways of approaching tasks, setting priorities, and determining what one can live with and what one can live without.
2. OPTIONS DURING PROBLEM-SOLVING - Options are all the ways to solve a problem. Even very capable adults often talk over a problem with another adult just in order to see other options they haven't considered.
3. INFORMATION AND KNOW-HOW - When a child has homework, who in the support system knows enough math to help the child? Who knows the research process? Who knows the ropes for going to college or getting a new-car loan? Who knows how to talk to the insurance agent so the situation can be clarified? Who knows how to negotiate difficult situations with a teacher and come to a resolution? Who understands the court system, the school system? Information and know-how are crucial to success.
4. TEMPORARY RELIEF FROM EMOTIONAL, MENTAL, FINANCIAL, AND/OR TIME CONSTRAINTS - When you are upset, who provides relief for you? When you aren't sure how you will get everything finished, who helps you? Who takes your children when you are desperate for a break? These people are all part of a support system.
5. CONNECTIONS TO OTHER PEOPLE AND RESOURCES - When you don't have the information and know-how, who are the people you turn to for assistance? Those people are your connections. Connections to people and resources are an integral part of a healthy support system.
6. POSITIVE SELF-TALK - Everyone has a little voice inside his/her head that talks to him/her all the time. This little voice gives encouraging messages. These encouraging messages help one finish tasks, complete projects, and get through difficult situations. If an individual does not listen to this encouraging little voice, the success rate is much lower.
7. PROCEDURAL SELF-TALK - Procedural self-talk is the voice that talks an individual through a task. It is key to success. Many individuals in poverty have a very limited support system - and particularly missing is procedural self-talk. Many tasks are never finished. In numerous dealings with clients, social workers and employers often find that self-talk is simply not available to the client.
Parents who are on a track to be reunited with their children must have a support system in place to make a go of it. CASA volunteers should look at the family dynamics and find out where the resources and supports in these seven areas will come from.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Monday, March 22, 2010
A Different Perspective: Drug Addiction as Illness
In rummaging around on the Internet today, looking for something cogent upon which to write, I came across the website for the Drug Addiction Treatment Centers, which is a clearinghouse for information on treatment facilities and drug addiction.
This website suggests that the United States is using the wrong approach with addicts, and I tend to agree. Incarceration of drug addicts is not the solution. Drugs are just as readily available in our penal institutions as they are on the streets. And living in a state (Oklahoma) where our prisons are bursting at the seams, it seems a different approach may be needed.
Here's what the website has to say on the subject:
The United States Justice Department's statistics confirm that the U.S. has more prisoners than any other country in the world. In 2006, that number was 2.5 million and continues to rise. Between 2000 and 2006, the nation experienced the largest jump in incarcerations ever. Criminal justice experts attribute the exploding prison population to harsher sentencing laws, particularly those related to illegal substance possession and use.
Whether addiction is an actual disease remains a hotly debated topic - one which probably will continue. Webster's defines 'disease' as follows: "Any departure from health presenting marked symptoms; malady, illness; disorder". Drug addiction certainly meets that measure; show me a drug addict and I'll show you someone presenting symptoms of illness, malady and disorder.
Drug addiction is responsible for many psychological problems; including, depression, mania, violent fantasies, etc. Drug addiction leads to serious physical ailments, including heart attack, stroke, organ failure and death.
The drug addict's life most certainly is one of "dis-order"; no longer able to hold a job, relate to other human beings, to care for their personal hygiene, there is no order to be found.
The child of an addict is 3-5 times more likely to become alcoholic/addict as well; bolstering the data that suggests there is a strong genetic (medical) link. Our country is in need of a serious shift in overall thinking about how drug addicts should be treated. Incarceration does not work, plain and simple. Few states have the money (or interest) to devote to providing treatment for addicts behind bars. In fact, statistics reveal that many addictions actually grow while in prison. The availability of drugs and the need (desire) to escape leads drug addicts to use more and for those not exposed to drugs in the 'outside world' to begin using.
With no treatment available and drugs easily obtained, how can we expect our prison population to achieve and maintain sobriety? It seems we cannot; at least, not at this point. The most recent data reveals that inmates who are serving time on drug-related charges experience the highest recidivism rates of all offenders. This is because (1) they've not been given any tools to work with while in jail, (2) once they are 'on the street' again they return to old circumstances and behaviors, and (3) even among addicts participating in recovery programs, relapse is fairly common.
If we cannot appeal to Americans' compassion, perhaps we can appeal to their greed. The cost of incarcerating an addict costs 10 times more than treatment does. And people who receive proper treatment are less likely to re-offend, so the savings can be quite significant.
There is a widely-held belief in America that Holland has a permissive attitude towards drugs. It does not. Rather, the country has adopted a more practical approach. Large-scale drug trafficking is still vigorously prosecuted. Drug use, however, is considered to be a public-health issue, not a criminal one. Addicts who are caught stealing or breaking other laws are prosecuted, but they are not arrested for possession.
The statistics show the gains made by the Dutch in their handling of drug abuse. Thirty years ago the population of heroin addicts in the Netherlands was estimated to have been 25,000 to 30,000. While the country's population has grown by 6 percent in the past three decades, the number of heroin addicts has remained virtually the same. Very few new users have joined their ranks and as the "old-timers" age, they are dying off, leading to a further decline in heroin use.
Wim van den Brink, a psychiatrist at the Academic Medical Center of the University of Amsterdam, sums up the country's drug policy this way "The view is that addiction is a brain disease and it requires treatment, not incarceration". This policy is responsible for a remarkable statistic: approximately 70 percent of Holland's drug addicts are in treatment programs; only 10-15 percent of America's are.
As Program Director of Tri-County CASA, I have watched for six years as drugs and alcohol have ravaged the parents whose children our program serves. Seventy-five percent of the children we advocate for come from homes where substance abuse is the norm.
Did you see that statistic above? "The child of an addict is 3-5 times more likely to become alcoholic/addict." That gave me a cold chill.
I'd like to hear your thoughts. What do you think about this article? What ideas do you have? How do we stay within our boundaries, but also encourage parents to get well so that they can be present for their children?
This website suggests that the United States is using the wrong approach with addicts, and I tend to agree. Incarceration of drug addicts is not the solution. Drugs are just as readily available in our penal institutions as they are on the streets. And living in a state (Oklahoma) where our prisons are bursting at the seams, it seems a different approach may be needed.
Here's what the website has to say on the subject:
The United States Justice Department's statistics confirm that the U.S. has more prisoners than any other country in the world. In 2006, that number was 2.5 million and continues to rise. Between 2000 and 2006, the nation experienced the largest jump in incarcerations ever. Criminal justice experts attribute the exploding prison population to harsher sentencing laws, particularly those related to illegal substance possession and use.
Whether addiction is an actual disease remains a hotly debated topic - one which probably will continue. Webster's defines 'disease' as follows: "Any departure from health presenting marked symptoms; malady, illness; disorder". Drug addiction certainly meets that measure; show me a drug addict and I'll show you someone presenting symptoms of illness, malady and disorder.
Drug addiction is responsible for many psychological problems; including, depression, mania, violent fantasies, etc. Drug addiction leads to serious physical ailments, including heart attack, stroke, organ failure and death.
The drug addict's life most certainly is one of "dis-order"; no longer able to hold a job, relate to other human beings, to care for their personal hygiene, there is no order to be found.
The child of an addict is 3-5 times more likely to become alcoholic/addict as well; bolstering the data that suggests there is a strong genetic (medical) link. Our country is in need of a serious shift in overall thinking about how drug addicts should be treated. Incarceration does not work, plain and simple. Few states have the money (or interest) to devote to providing treatment for addicts behind bars. In fact, statistics reveal that many addictions actually grow while in prison. The availability of drugs and the need (desire) to escape leads drug addicts to use more and for those not exposed to drugs in the 'outside world' to begin using.
With no treatment available and drugs easily obtained, how can we expect our prison population to achieve and maintain sobriety? It seems we cannot; at least, not at this point. The most recent data reveals that inmates who are serving time on drug-related charges experience the highest recidivism rates of all offenders. This is because (1) they've not been given any tools to work with while in jail, (2) once they are 'on the street' again they return to old circumstances and behaviors, and (3) even among addicts participating in recovery programs, relapse is fairly common.
If we cannot appeal to Americans' compassion, perhaps we can appeal to their greed. The cost of incarcerating an addict costs 10 times more than treatment does. And people who receive proper treatment are less likely to re-offend, so the savings can be quite significant.
There is a widely-held belief in America that Holland has a permissive attitude towards drugs. It does not. Rather, the country has adopted a more practical approach. Large-scale drug trafficking is still vigorously prosecuted. Drug use, however, is considered to be a public-health issue, not a criminal one. Addicts who are caught stealing or breaking other laws are prosecuted, but they are not arrested for possession.
The statistics show the gains made by the Dutch in their handling of drug abuse. Thirty years ago the population of heroin addicts in the Netherlands was estimated to have been 25,000 to 30,000. While the country's population has grown by 6 percent in the past three decades, the number of heroin addicts has remained virtually the same. Very few new users have joined their ranks and as the "old-timers" age, they are dying off, leading to a further decline in heroin use.
Wim van den Brink, a psychiatrist at the Academic Medical Center of the University of Amsterdam, sums up the country's drug policy this way "The view is that addiction is a brain disease and it requires treatment, not incarceration". This policy is responsible for a remarkable statistic: approximately 70 percent of Holland's drug addicts are in treatment programs; only 10-15 percent of America's are.
As Program Director of Tri-County CASA, I have watched for six years as drugs and alcohol have ravaged the parents whose children our program serves. Seventy-five percent of the children we advocate for come from homes where substance abuse is the norm.
Did you see that statistic above? "The child of an addict is 3-5 times more likely to become alcoholic/addict." That gave me a cold chill.
I'd like to hear your thoughts. What do you think about this article? What ideas do you have? How do we stay within our boundaries, but also encourage parents to get well so that they can be present for their children?
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
An Interview With Antwone Fisher
One of my favorite books is "Finding Fish" by Antwone Quenton Fisher, a former foster child who has beaten all of the odds to become a successful author, screenwriter, and film producer. He also wrote the screenplay for the movie, "Antoine Fisher," starring Denzel Washington.
Antwone's challenges begin before he is born, when his father is killed by a girlfriend in a tragic accident. Born in prison to a single mother who has no means to care for him, he is sent to live with a foster family, where he endures near-constant verbal and physical abuse by those who shelter him. Antwone chronicles his experiences from personal memory and incorporates into his story accounts from the many caseworkers who tracked his progress and decline in the foster care system.
In his mid-teens, he leaves his foster family and enters George Junior Republic, a private institution where he begins to turn his life around. Not long after, as an emancipated minor, Antwone winds up homeless.
In order to avoid the dangers and uncertainties of life on the street, he enlists in the Navy, and he becomes a man of the world. During the course of his naval career, Antwone finally acknowledges the pain that his childhood has caused him, and he begins to deal with some of the rage that he has suppressed for many years. He creates a family for himself out of his comrades in the Navy, and he explores his own growing fascination with language and writing.
Recently, on the Harper-Collins website (the publisher of "Finding Fish"), I found this interview with Antwone Fisher:
Q. In Finding Fish, you describe your upbringing as a foster child in fairly stark terms. Do you think the foster care system is inherently flawed?
A. I would hate to sound pessimistic, but I think there are problems that can't be avoided like young people becoming social workers and deciding after a few months or a few years that they are going to do something different with their lives. That creates a situation where a kid has to get to know someone else all over again. Children arrive at a place where they don't trust the jurisdiction they are under and feel as though they are alone in their circumstance and that the social workers are only strangers passing through.
Another area of concern would be lack of resources for programs that could improve lives of children in foster care and educate the public to the need of good foster parents and adoptive parents and many other areas in this matter. I think that it's not a great enough priority to the powers that be to provide better lives for children in these unfortunate situations.
There are a lot of problems that would be solved if only the community would become more involved and volunteer to be mentors and extended family to foster children. I think that a child who is in foster care for two and three years, with no real feeling of permanence in a family will feel unwanted in the world. Adoption should be an option for those children.
Q. What was it like for you to read the reports of social workers and psychologists charting your experience in foster care? Why did you decide to include those third-person accounts in your memoir?
A. It was enlightening to read what my social workers had described in my childhood records. Reading their details was confirmation; it was proof that I hadn't dreamt the whole thing. That foster family actually existed.
I used the records in my memoir to validate my memory to others.
Q. Did reuniting with the Elkins and Fisher families change the way that you think about your place in the world?
A. Meeting the Fishers and Elkins made me more confident in my being. Finally, I had living proof that I came from somewhere. Yes, it makes me know that I have a place in the world and that I belong to something.
Q. Would you characterize yourself as a survivor? To what do you attribute your will to persevere in the face of the many obstacles of your childhood?
A. I suppose I would consider myself a survivor. We are all survivors in life; even people who have had better childhoods. You survive. I don't like the idea of saying survivor because it makes me feel handicapped. Feeling handicapped makes me feel that I am not as capable of succeeding as others. I've come to realize the power of words and I would rather not use that word in reference to myself. Call it pretending, but it works for me.
I was able to persevere because I wanted to be normal like I felt everyone else was. I wanted to be liked. I wanted to live. I never wanted the negative things my foster mother said about me to be true. I wanted to show others and myself that I am worthwhile.
Q. Did you ever learn what became of your first foster mother, Mrs. Strange? Did the publication of your memoir enable encounters with any other "lost" figures from your past?
A. While filming the movie, Antwone Fisher, in Cleveland, someone who knew Mrs. Strange had read the book and brought me her picture and told me that she had died some years ago.
I think I have met and reconnected with everyone that I felt I had lost. Everyone who was meaningful to me in someway. Even some members of my foster family showed up at book signings in Cleveland and in Florida. That was really bizarre. The most interesting encounters were reacquainting with my childhood friends such as Michael Shields, Sonya, Fat Kenny, and Freda. One of the saddest discoveries was that my foster sister, Flo, died in the spring of 1999, lonely and unfulfilled, of a brain aneurism. It broke my heart.
Q. The story of your life is not only the subject of this memoir, but also of a major motion picture. What aspects of your newfound fame have you found especially rewarding or challenging?
A. The most rewarding aspect of having a memoir and film about my life is that opportunity to write more, I would think. Having a voice, after growing up voiceless is a real accomplishment and I feel good about where I am. There haven't been very many challenges simply because people don't know what I look like, but I am still basically shy, so having to speak in front of people is challenging.
Tri-County CASA volunteers, if you have not, please take some time to read "Finding Fish" and/or to watch the movie "Antwone Fisher." A few years ago, Antwone Fisher spoke at a National CASA Conference, and he acknowledged that he would have benefitted greatly from having had a CASA volunteer.
So, when you feel as though the work you do is not terribly important to the world, think about what would happen if you weren't engaged in the work you are doing. You DO make a difference!
- Biographical information and interview with Antwone Fisher courtesy of the Harper-Collins website.
Antwone's challenges begin before he is born, when his father is killed by a girlfriend in a tragic accident. Born in prison to a single mother who has no means to care for him, he is sent to live with a foster family, where he endures near-constant verbal and physical abuse by those who shelter him. Antwone chronicles his experiences from personal memory and incorporates into his story accounts from the many caseworkers who tracked his progress and decline in the foster care system.
In his mid-teens, he leaves his foster family and enters George Junior Republic, a private institution where he begins to turn his life around. Not long after, as an emancipated minor, Antwone winds up homeless.
In order to avoid the dangers and uncertainties of life on the street, he enlists in the Navy, and he becomes a man of the world. During the course of his naval career, Antwone finally acknowledges the pain that his childhood has caused him, and he begins to deal with some of the rage that he has suppressed for many years. He creates a family for himself out of his comrades in the Navy, and he explores his own growing fascination with language and writing.
Recently, on the Harper-Collins website (the publisher of "Finding Fish"), I found this interview with Antwone Fisher:
Q. In Finding Fish, you describe your upbringing as a foster child in fairly stark terms. Do you think the foster care system is inherently flawed?
A. I would hate to sound pessimistic, but I think there are problems that can't be avoided like young people becoming social workers and deciding after a few months or a few years that they are going to do something different with their lives. That creates a situation where a kid has to get to know someone else all over again. Children arrive at a place where they don't trust the jurisdiction they are under and feel as though they are alone in their circumstance and that the social workers are only strangers passing through.
Another area of concern would be lack of resources for programs that could improve lives of children in foster care and educate the public to the need of good foster parents and adoptive parents and many other areas in this matter. I think that it's not a great enough priority to the powers that be to provide better lives for children in these unfortunate situations.
There are a lot of problems that would be solved if only the community would become more involved and volunteer to be mentors and extended family to foster children. I think that a child who is in foster care for two and three years, with no real feeling of permanence in a family will feel unwanted in the world. Adoption should be an option for those children.
Q. What was it like for you to read the reports of social workers and psychologists charting your experience in foster care? Why did you decide to include those third-person accounts in your memoir?
A. It was enlightening to read what my social workers had described in my childhood records. Reading their details was confirmation; it was proof that I hadn't dreamt the whole thing. That foster family actually existed.
I used the records in my memoir to validate my memory to others.
Q. Did reuniting with the Elkins and Fisher families change the way that you think about your place in the world?
A. Meeting the Fishers and Elkins made me more confident in my being. Finally, I had living proof that I came from somewhere. Yes, it makes me know that I have a place in the world and that I belong to something.
Q. Would you characterize yourself as a survivor? To what do you attribute your will to persevere in the face of the many obstacles of your childhood?
A. I suppose I would consider myself a survivor. We are all survivors in life; even people who have had better childhoods. You survive. I don't like the idea of saying survivor because it makes me feel handicapped. Feeling handicapped makes me feel that I am not as capable of succeeding as others. I've come to realize the power of words and I would rather not use that word in reference to myself. Call it pretending, but it works for me.
I was able to persevere because I wanted to be normal like I felt everyone else was. I wanted to be liked. I wanted to live. I never wanted the negative things my foster mother said about me to be true. I wanted to show others and myself that I am worthwhile.
Q. Did you ever learn what became of your first foster mother, Mrs. Strange? Did the publication of your memoir enable encounters with any other "lost" figures from your past?
A. While filming the movie, Antwone Fisher, in Cleveland, someone who knew Mrs. Strange had read the book and brought me her picture and told me that she had died some years ago.
I think I have met and reconnected with everyone that I felt I had lost. Everyone who was meaningful to me in someway. Even some members of my foster family showed up at book signings in Cleveland and in Florida. That was really bizarre. The most interesting encounters were reacquainting with my childhood friends such as Michael Shields, Sonya, Fat Kenny, and Freda. One of the saddest discoveries was that my foster sister, Flo, died in the spring of 1999, lonely and unfulfilled, of a brain aneurism. It broke my heart.
Q. The story of your life is not only the subject of this memoir, but also of a major motion picture. What aspects of your newfound fame have you found especially rewarding or challenging?
A. The most rewarding aspect of having a memoir and film about my life is that opportunity to write more, I would think. Having a voice, after growing up voiceless is a real accomplishment and I feel good about where I am. There haven't been very many challenges simply because people don't know what I look like, but I am still basically shy, so having to speak in front of people is challenging.
Tri-County CASA volunteers, if you have not, please take some time to read "Finding Fish" and/or to watch the movie "Antwone Fisher." A few years ago, Antwone Fisher spoke at a National CASA Conference, and he acknowledged that he would have benefitted greatly from having had a CASA volunteer.
So, when you feel as though the work you do is not terribly important to the world, think about what would happen if you weren't engaged in the work you are doing. You DO make a difference!
- Biographical information and interview with Antwone Fisher courtesy of the Harper-Collins website.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!
You're probably scratching your head over today's post and wondering, "What in the world does the movie 'Beetlejuice' have to do with CASA work?"
If you've seen the movie, you will remember that the main characters, Adam and Barbara Maitland, are killed in a car accident. After their death, they return to their New England farmhouse unaware of their new "undead" status, until the Deetzes, a hip, art-nouveau family moves in and starts making major changes to the Maitland's home.
The Maitland's take up residence in what was their attic, where they plot ways in which to drive the Deetz family away. In one of the scenes, Adam Maitland is working with a diorama, a small-scale replica of all of the buildings, roads, and land features of the quiet New England town they used to inhabit. Oh, and Beetlejuice, a two-bit, filthy ghost (bio-exorcist) has taken up residence in the diorama's cemetery, but that's another story for another day.
Back to the diorama...and my point. Think of the Beetlejuice diorama as your CASA case. You have all of the cast of characters identified. You've seen the environments in which these characters live and operate. You have a sense of the family's history. You're watching to see what the parties are doing and what they are not doing. You are not unlike an "eye in the sky," keeping tabs on what is happening with the case and bringing a report of those activities back to court when it's time.
This diorama example is a perfect representation of the CASA volunteer's boundary for involvement with the family. As a CASA, your role is not to effect any change on the parties to the case, but rather to watch and observe any and all changes and to report back to the judge regarding any progress that is being made.
This is a difficult proposition, because, after all, we're CASA volunteers. We signed up to help people. However, the CASA volunteer is only able to help the children on the case, not the parents.
Think about it. The parents are involved in a court intervention program because they need to identify weaknesses in their home environment. Recognition of these deficits is the first step in gaining the skills to correct the conditions that brought their children into care and to be a better parent for their children.
If the involved parties (DHS, CASA, the judge, the attorneys) make it too easy (i.e. doing the work for the parent), then those parents will learn very little and will be completely clueless when reunification time rolls around. Children who are reunified into these homes are much more likely to come back into temporary custody, with disasterous results.
Remember the diorama and your CASA boundaries!
Thursday, March 11, 2010
The Effects of Domestic Violence on Children
It's not a stretch to characterize the home where domestic violence is present as a "war zone." All members of the family are on "high alert" waiting for the next blow-up. Children in these homes become hypervigilant processors of facial expressions, voice inflection, and body language.
According to the American Psychological Association, each year an estimated 3.3 million children are exposed to violence against their mothers or female caretakers by family members. Research shows that 80 to 90 percent of children living in homes where there is domestic violence are aware of the violence.
A child's exposure to the father abusing the mother is the strongest risk factor for transmitting violent behavior from one generation to the next. Boys who witness the abuse of mothers by fathers are more likely to become men who batter in adulthood than boys from homes free of violence.
Furthermore, older children are frequently assaulted when they intervene to defend or protect their mothers. In 1988, a landmark 36-month study was conducted. The study followed 146 children, ages 11-17 who came from homes where there was domestic violence, and found that all sons over the age of 14 attempted to protect their mothers from attacks. Some 62 percent were injured in the process.
Child abuse occurs in 30 to 60 percent of family violence cases that involve families with children. A survey of 6,000 American families found that 50 percent of men who assault their wives also abuse their children. Some 80 percent of child fatilities within the family are attributable to fathers or father surrogates.
One study, by researchers Ackerman and Pickering stated: "Families under stress produce children under stress. If a spouse is being abused and there are children in the home, the children are affected by the abuse."
Children from homes where violence is the norm experience: (1) the control of the family by one dominant member; (2) abuse of a parent; (3) isolation; and (4) the need to protect the "family secret."
Children exposed to family violence are more likely to develop social, emotional, psychological and or behavioral problems than those who are not. Recent research indicates that children who witness domestic violence show more anxiety, low self esteem, depression, anger and temperament problems than children who do not witness violence in the home. The trauma they experience can show up in emotional, behavioral, social and physical disturbances that effect their development and can continue into adulthood.
Some of the potential effects include:
- Grief for family and personal losses
- Shame, guilt, and self blame
- Confusion about conflicting feelings toward his or her parents
- Fear of abandonment, or expressing emotions, the unknown or personal injury
- Anger
- Depression and feelings of helplessness and powerlessness
- Embarrassment
- Acting out or withdrawing
- Aggressive or passive behaviors
- Refusing to go to school
- Care taking; acting as a parent substitute
- Lying to avoid confrontation
- Rigid defenses
- Excessive attention seeking
- Bedwetting and nightmares
- Out of control behavior
- Reduced intellectual competency
- Manipulation, dependency, mood swings
- Isolation from friends and relatives
- Stormy relationships
- Difficulty in trusting, especially adults
- Poor anger management and problem solving skills
- Excessive social involvement to avoid home
- Passivity with peers or bullying
- Engaged in exploitative relationships as the perpetrator or victim
- Somatic complaints, such as headaches and stomachaches
- Nervous, anxious, short attention span
- Tired and lethargic
- Frequently ill
- Poor personal hygiene
- Regression in development
- High risk play
- Self abuse
As a CASA volunteer, you can successfully advocate for child victims of domestic violence by keeping a few key points in mind. Trust is a major factor when working with children exposed to domestic violence, so take your time and ease into the relationship. Rapport may come slowly. Children need a safe place with an adult they can trust to begin healing.
When first working with a child, it is helpful to ask what makes him or her feel comfortable and uncomfortable with adults. Listen to the child and provide him or her with space and respect.
Let children know that you care about them, and that there are adults, including the judge, who are interested in their opinions, thoughts and ideas. Using books on the subject can help open children up. Likewise, using art, music, drama, and play can help children express themselves.
Connect children to organizations in the community that work with youth, if an outlet is needed. Help the child develop an age-appropriate and realistic safety plan. Make reference to the child's need for professional counseling, as needed.
Tell them often that you care and that you are there for them.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Domestic Violence: A Vicious Circle
It's long been held that those who engage in spousal abuse have anger issues that cause them to act in a violent, out-of-control manner. Although the actions of the abuser can, indeed, be violent, it is a mistake to think that he or she is out-of-control. In fact, domestic violence is all about control - the abuser controlling his or her victim. Please note that for the remainder of this article, we shall use the pronoun "she" to describe the victim for the purposes of brevity, but both males and females can be victims of domestic violence.
Abusers use a variety of tactics to manipulate and exert their power:
Dominance – Abusive individuals need to feel "in charge" of the relationship. They will make decisions for her and the family, tell her what to do, and expect her to obey without question. The abuser may treat the victim like a servant, child, or even as a possession.
Humiliation – An abuser will do everything he can to make her feel bad about herself or defective in some way. After all, if she believes she is worthless and that no one else will want to be in a relationship with her, she's less likely to leave. Insults, name-calling, shaming, and public put-downs are all weapons of abuse designed to erode her self-esteem and make her feel powerless.
Isolation – In order to increase her dependence on him, an abusive partner will cut her off from the outside world. He may keep her from seeing family or friends, or even prevent her from going to work or school. She may have to ask permission to do anything, go anywhere, or see anyone.
Threats – Abusers commonly use threats to keep their partners from leaving or to scare them into dropping charges. The abuser may threaten to hurt or kill her, the children, other family members, or even pets. He may also threaten to commit suicide, file false charges against her, or report her to child services.
Intimidation – The abuser may use a variety of intimidation tactics designed to scare her into submission. Such tactics include making threatening looks or gestures, smashing things in front of her, destroying property, hurting her pets, or putting weapons on display. The clear message is that if she doesn't obey, there will be violent consequences.
Denial and blame – Abusers are very good at making excuses for the inexcusable. They will blame their abusive and violent behavior on a bad childhood, a bad day, and even on the victims of their abuse. The abusive partner may minimize the abuse or deny that it occurred. He will commonly shift the responsibility on to her: Somehow, his violent and abusive behavior is her fault.
As a CASA volunteer, it is important to educate yourself regarding the dynamics of domestic violence. It is rare for a batterer (and sometimes even the victim) to acknowledge that spousal abuse occurs in their home. Knowing the signs and symptoms is important, as is using caution and good judgment when dealing with parents who either are or have been in an abusive relationship.
The progress of the parents on your caseload is much less about what is SAID, and more about what is DONE. Actions, not intentions, often tell the tale.
Children cannot live in a violent environment. The statistics regarding the effects of violence on a child's development are well-documented in a number of studies. When children are involved, reunification with one or both of the parents can only occur when the violent relationship is ended. Intensive treatment for both the batterer and the victim are a must.
Friday, March 5, 2010
Ten Global Imperatives for Children
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As you know, I attend a number of conferences, meetings, and workshops on topics related to CASA volunteer work. I'm not sure exactly where I acquired the bookmark that lists these 10 sage pieces of advice, but I recently unearthed it in my pit of an office and thought I would share them with you.
The best part is, our CASA volunteers are already doing most of these things, but I don't think it ever hurts to be reminded about how we can touch and change the future.
TEN GLOBAL IMPERATIVES FOR CHILDREN
1. Leave No Child Out: All forms of discrimination against children must end.
2. Put Children First: It is the responsibility of everyone – governments, individuals, organizations, agencies, religious groups, businesses – to ensure that children’s rights are respected.
3. Care For Every Child: Ensure all children the best possible start in life.
4. Fight Disease: Protect children and adolescents and their families from HIV/AIDS and other diseases.
5. Stop Harming and Exploiting Children: Violence, abuse, neglect and the sexual and economic exploitation of children must end.
6. Listen to Children: Respect the rights of children and youth to express themselves and to participate in making the decision that affect them.
7. Educate Every Child: Every child – all girls and boys – must be allowed to learn.
8. Protect Children from War: No child should experience the horrors of armed conflict.
9. Protect the Earth for Children: Safeguard the environment at global, national, and local levels.
10. Fight Poverty: Invest in services that benefit the poorest children and their families, such as nutritious food, basic health care, and primary education. Make the well-being of children a priority objective.
I realize that many of the items on this list refer to issues in the greater world community, for example in countries where girls are not educated to the same level as boys. But as I read through the list, I realized that so much of it still applies to our local community. It reminds me of the quote, "Think globally, but act locally."
Isn't that really what the CASA volunteer opportunity is about? It is a grassroots, community movement to ensure safety, permanence, and nurture for children. I'm proud to be a part of it, and I hope you are, too!
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Going Paperless!
You may have received a postcard in the mail recently announcing that "The Connection," the National CASA Association's news and information magazine, has been posted on the web.
Formerly, you may have been receiving these magazines in a printed format. Now, in an effort to provide information more quickly and to be "greener" about the process, the National CASA Association has begun publishing much of its information through online forums.
You can find the latest issue of The Connection here:
The Connection Magazine - National CASA
Happy reading!
Formerly, you may have been receiving these magazines in a printed format. Now, in an effort to provide information more quickly and to be "greener" about the process, the National CASA Association has begun publishing much of its information through online forums.
You can find the latest issue of The Connection here:
The Connection Magazine - National CASA
Happy reading!
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