It's not a stretch to characterize the home where domestic violence is present as a "war zone." All members of the family are on "high alert" waiting for the next blow-up. Children in these homes become hypervigilant processors of facial expressions, voice inflection, and body language.
According to the American Psychological Association, each year an estimated 3.3 million children are exposed to violence against their mothers or female caretakers by family members. Research shows that 80 to 90 percent of children living in homes where there is domestic violence are aware of the violence.
A child's exposure to the father abusing the mother is the strongest risk factor for transmitting violent behavior from one generation to the next. Boys who witness the abuse of mothers by fathers are more likely to become men who batter in adulthood than boys from homes free of violence.
Furthermore, older children are frequently assaulted when they intervene to defend or protect their mothers. In 1988, a landmark 36-month study was conducted. The study followed 146 children, ages 11-17 who came from homes where there was domestic violence, and found that all sons over the age of 14 attempted to protect their mothers from attacks. Some 62 percent were injured in the process.
Child abuse occurs in 30 to 60 percent of family violence cases that involve families with children. A survey of 6,000 American families found that 50 percent of men who assault their wives also abuse their children. Some 80 percent of child fatilities within the family are attributable to fathers or father surrogates.
One study, by researchers Ackerman and Pickering stated: "Families under stress produce children under stress. If a spouse is being abused and there are children in the home, the children are affected by the abuse."
Children from homes where violence is the norm experience: (1) the control of the family by one dominant member; (2) abuse of a parent; (3) isolation; and (4) the need to protect the "family secret."
Children exposed to family violence are more likely to develop social, emotional, psychological and or behavioral problems than those who are not. Recent research indicates that children who witness domestic violence show more anxiety, low self esteem, depression, anger and temperament problems than children who do not witness violence in the home. The trauma they experience can show up in emotional, behavioral, social and physical disturbances that effect their development and can continue into adulthood.
Some of the potential effects include:
- Grief for family and personal losses
- Shame, guilt, and self blame
- Confusion about conflicting feelings toward his or her parents
- Fear of abandonment, or expressing emotions, the unknown or personal injury
- Anger
- Depression and feelings of helplessness and powerlessness
- Embarrassment
- Acting out or withdrawing
- Aggressive or passive behaviors
- Refusing to go to school
- Care taking; acting as a parent substitute
- Lying to avoid confrontation
- Rigid defenses
- Excessive attention seeking
- Bedwetting and nightmares
- Out of control behavior
- Reduced intellectual competency
- Manipulation, dependency, mood swings
- Isolation from friends and relatives
- Stormy relationships
- Difficulty in trusting, especially adults
- Poor anger management and problem solving skills
- Excessive social involvement to avoid home
- Passivity with peers or bullying
- Engaged in exploitative relationships as the perpetrator or victim
- Somatic complaints, such as headaches and stomachaches
- Nervous, anxious, short attention span
- Tired and lethargic
- Frequently ill
- Poor personal hygiene
- Regression in development
- High risk play
- Self abuse
As a CASA volunteer, you can successfully advocate for child victims of domestic violence by keeping a few key points in mind. Trust is a major factor when working with children exposed to domestic violence, so take your time and ease into the relationship. Rapport may come slowly. Children need a safe place with an adult they can trust to begin healing.
When first working with a child, it is helpful to ask what makes him or her feel comfortable and uncomfortable with adults. Listen to the child and provide him or her with space and respect.
Let children know that you care about them, and that there are adults, including the judge, who are interested in their opinions, thoughts and ideas. Using books on the subject can help open children up. Likewise, using art, music, drama, and play can help children express themselves.
Connect children to organizations in the community that work with youth, if an outlet is needed. Help the child develop an age-appropriate and realistic safety plan. Make reference to the child's need for professional counseling, as needed.
Tell them often that you care and that you are there for them.
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