It's Child Abuse Prevention Month!

The following article appeared as part of a series in 2006 that was written by me for the Claremore Daily Progress in celebration of Child Abuse Prevention Month. Enjoy and share with other parents who might find this article insightful.

TIPS FOR BEING A NURTURING PARENT

A healthy, nurturing relationship between a parent and his or her child is built through countless interactions over the course of time. Being a parent requires a lot of energy and work, but the rewards are well worth it.

When it comes to being a parent, there are few absolutes and there is no one “right way.” One absolute is that all children need to be loved and feel safe. However, different parenting techniques work for different children under different circumstances. These tips are intended to provide suggestions as you discover what works best in your family. Do not expect things to be perfect; parenting is a difficult job!

HELP YOUR CHILDREN FEEL LOVED AND SECURE

• Make sure your children know you love them, even when they do something that doesn’t please you. Say “I love you” often. Other ways to communicate love include: apologizing to your child when you are wrong, telling the truth, smiling, hugging often, and saying “Good Morning!” cheerfully each morning.
• Become your child’s “cheerleader.” Encourage them. Praise their achievements and talents. Recognize the skills they are developing.
• Spend time with your children. Do things together that you both enjoy. Try a themed dinner-and-movie night; play checkers, cards, or dominos with your child; or just snuggle up on the couch with a good book.
• Listen to your children and give them the gift of your full attention.
• Learn how to use nonphysical discipline options. Many alternatives exist. Depending on your child’s age and level of development, these may include simply redirecting your child’s attention, offering choices, or using “time out.”

REALIZE THAT COMMUNITY RESOURCES ADD VALUE

Children need direct and continuing access to people with whom they can develop healthy, supportive relationships. To assist in this, parents may:

• Take your children to libraries, museums, movies, and sporting events.
• Enroll children in youth enrichment programs, such as sports or music.
• Use community services for family needs, such as parenting education classes or respite care.
• Communicate regularly with your child’s teacher or the staff of your childcare center.
• Allow your child to participate in religious or youth groups.

SEEK HELP IF YOU NEED IT

Being a parent is tough. No one expects you to know how to do it all. Challenges such as unemployment or a child with special needs can add immeasurably to family tension. If you think stress may be affecting the way you treat your child, or if you just want the extra support that most parents need at some point, try the following:

• Talk to someone you trust. Tell a friend, healthcare provider, or a leader in your faith community about what you are experiencing.
• Seek respite care when you need a break. Everyone needs time for themselves. Respite care or crisis care provides a safe place for your children so that you can take care of yourself.
• Call a helpline. Childhelp USA offers a national 24-hour hotline (1-800-4-A-CHILD) for parents who need help or parenting advice.
• Seek counseling. Individual, couple, or family counseling can identify and reinforce healthy ways to communicate and parent.
• Take a parenting class. No one is born knowing how to be a good parent. It is an acquired skill. Parenting classes can give you the skills you need to raise a happy, healthy child. Locally, you can contact Family and Children's Services or the Parent Child Center of Tulsa. Additionally, your faith community may offer parenting classes, as well.

Accept help. You do not have to do it all. Graciously take offers of help from trusted family, friends, and neighbors. You will not be admitting weakness if you ask for help or a break. Everyone needs help from time to time. Do not be afraid or ashamed to ask for it if you feel that you need it.